i want to sleep... i need to sleep... i need to get better. but thoughts bounce through my head and i wonder where you are and what you are doing right now. i wonder if you are laughing, and if i was with you if i could be laughing too. i miss your smile and your bear hugs that make me know everything is alright. i dont want anyone else not right now. i want your warmth to help me sleep, and your reassuring breath to whisper in my ear and tell me everything will be alright. because i realize that not everything can always be alright. my entire experience this year has not been right. but when i am with you i can let my fears go, and i can rest easy safe in your arms. you are my haven... you are my safety... and i could use you right now. yes i could. i want to sleep... but i have forgotten what it is like to sleep alone on weekends.

sleep does not come for this tired body.