bad dreams, and uneasy sleep:

she smiles at me from a distance. she always knows when it is me that walks in the door, we can feel each other's presence like we can read each others emotions with a glance. today something is not right, the air is tense, and she looks frustrated, usually it is just work, but today it is different, today it is something else...

we work in silence, until everyone else is gone, and then i run over and give her a hug, one much needed, and much deserved. i can see tears forming in her eyes, and her beautiful heart heavy, and damp on her sleeve. she never could keep anything from me.

i cant tell secrets or keep anything from her either, and so i tell her, things might change, its complicated, i dont know anymore if i can be there this summer.

i promise to tell her everything later, and we make plans for dinner the next night.

but today not knowing doesnt sit well with her, and to calm her nerves i tell her my story. it isnt a fun one, and it has no conclusion yet. i hate those kind of stories.

he comes around the corner and sees the look on our faces, just as i try to finish the unending story. i change my expression but not quickly enough to fool him. he is not an easy one to fool.

"why the sad eyes baby girl?" he asks.

i love him like an uncle, or a big brother, and i his daughter or niece.

"it isnt as fun when it gets so hard, you know." i reply.

"life is never easy, never, never. but can you imagine your life without this?"

his usually playful eyes look down at me concerned and understanding. and i cant. i never could. i never would. it just is.

it just is.

just like i know, we will always be connected somehow. you will see.