it is 7 am saturday morning, and i cannot sleep. you let me sleep last night, and so now i am awake. you will sleep no doubt for much longer, till at least 10 or 11, because that is just how you are. i feel guilty for some reason for falling asleep last night, it was supposed to be our fun night, i could stay up as late as i waned, and i fell asleep. i think you were mad at me, ,i dont like the thought of that... sometimes in the normalcy of what we have become, i forget just how damn fun it is to be your friend. and how damn lucky i am.

we come up with new nicknames all the time, keep them for awhile, usually a month or two and then discard them for something new. we are constantly changing, but not really enough to make it noticeable until we really look back. which we happen to do all the time, but we dont ever really notice the changes i dont think... we dont acknowledge them at least. maybe it's because we change together. we grow and change together in ways that are so suttle you cant notice unless you look back with a fine tooth comb. i like to do that, i like to remember everything exactly.

i was reading this morning about the past. and i realized there was a time when we almost ended our friendship. i remember all the pain, and all the horrible things i felt back then, and it almost made me want to cry, like i cried back then. i didnt tell you, but i cried, i cried a lot then. since then though, i dont think i have cried once. with the exception of the movie last night, but that really doesnt count. and... because well, friend, here is the thing....

even back then i couldnt stand the thought of losing you. i see now how foolish everything was, and i am SOO glad that everything happened, and turned out the way that it did. because if it hadnt, well my life wouldnt have been so darn exciting i dont think, or fun.

i think sometimes, you dont really realize how much you mean. or i dont let you know enough. so this is me letting you know.

your place in my heart can never be taken, by anyone or anything else. EVER.

its like reserved parking, for you only. and dont worry, its a big enough spot for a hummer, or even a hummer-limo if you so desire. :-)

i worry about what will happen in my life when i go away to college. actually, i am down right scared. i have this foreboding feeling that things will change in major ways with all of my close relationships. and i dont want that to happen. life is about change though, and most of the time we must accept fate. but regardless, this summer... holy fuck. i dont like to swear generally, but holy fuck. it is gonna rock.

oh and... thanks for being there, always. :-)

love you homes. you mean the world to me. our friendship means the world to me, and i dont ever want to let you down. so hey pal, if i have, be my best friend, tell me about my mistakes and help me fix them. the point of relationships of any kind, be it friendship, love, family, the point my dear, is to enhance each other's lives. enhance mine. make me a better person.