above almost all other things i treasure my memories the most. memories remind me just how alive i am.

i wonder if there is such a thing as karma, and if there is, how does it dictate my world?

one of the things i pride myself most on is my ability to remember every little detail about things. not everything, but moments, and activities, times and people that stick out in my mind, and i remember everything.

like the first time i met you. we were only 5. i stood on top of a huge mountain of dirt that separated our yards. they were still building your house, and your mom was changing you sisters diaper in the little black truck your dad used to have. you had blond hair that shone in the sun when you came running towards the mountain of dirt. you had a smile on your face, and your knees were covered in dirt. your shorts were blue, and your shirt was off white. you had a devilish look in your eyes, and i wanted to be your best friend. from that first moment i saw you i wanted to be your best friend.

i was a tom-boy. yes, i had barbies, they were birthday presents mostly, and some dolls. but i would much rather run and play in the sun, and scrape my knees, and get dirty. i would much rather wrestle and play with you than the girls down the street.

yesterday, we were talking about memories, i started talking about the first time i saw you, but you interuppted, and told me the same story i was about too, but from the other side, how you remember seeing me for the first time on the mountain of dirt.

its funny the things we remember.... i wonder if this means anything. are we still conected on that best friend level that we were back then, as 5 year olds?

for a long time i thought i wanted to marry you. you know my 5 year old self did that is. i thought to myself, how perfect, i could marry my best friend, and we could spend the rest of our lives playing in the sun, and running around barefoot in the grass. how could it be more perfect?

and then we grew up. and apart. but part of me, the 5 year old in me still loves the 5 year old you, and would gladly marry you on a summer day in our backyards, and then run in the grass until it was dark and we were too tired, and our knees grass-stained to move anymore. and colapse and lay in the grass looking up at the stars, till we had caught our breath long enough to get up again and chase the fireflies.

do you remember those days boy? i do.

i think that we are still connected on some level, even if it is only as 5 or 7 year olds.

and it made me smile today to think you remembered everything just as perfectly as i did.

karma? maybe. if it is, i like it.

thanks friend.