i have been feeling very unbalanced as of late, a feeling i have come to hate a great deal, and behind sick on top of that doesnt help much.

i think this move is effecting me in more ways than one. because although i am beyond happy about it, i am also losing some of my sanity with it. no longer will i be able to see two people that have a profound affect on my life 5 days a week. instead it will be limited to one or none. and in all honesty i have enough phone conversations as it is. the phone is something i am growing to dislike a great deal. it is cold and flat, expressionless. it is nothing compared to the real thing.

i am sorry that my unbalanced state has found it necessary to test our strength. i was angry, and irrational, and it wasnt your fault. and because of this i am infinitely sorry. it is something i am not proud of in the least. its not that i am bored, or tired of this, time makes me nervous sometimes i think. i was pulling at those life lines to make sure they were still holding tight. because a girl can never be too careful on this raging sea of life we have.

i need calm, warm, peaceful waters. i need it like i need oxygen. because this unbalanced act is starting to make my stomach churn and is giving me unwanted nightmares...