Thursday, October 26, 2006

i told myself driving home yesterday that i wouldnt cry. i didnt want to cry for some reason, and i told myself i wouldnt do it. i wore mascara and everything as a reminder, a reason why i couldnt cry. it is strange the way we feel we SHOULD feel sometimes.

i made it all the way home listening to my loud music singing along not a care in the world. when i drove through town i wanted to see the signs we had made and hung up. the signs to welcome him home. i didnt make it 2 feet past the first one before i burst into tears. my mascara backup was so out the door. i couldnt even help it. the tears came immediately with that hiccup like sobbing sound you make when a crying fit comes on so fast you cant even breathe and you have to do this silly little hiccup breath which ultimately makes you cry more.

it is strange the way we feel we should feel sometime. last night i was in a room with hundreds of other people and you could tell by looking around the room the feelings were mutual.

mothers went from hugging loved ones and smiling from ear to ear, to tears in a matter of seconds and then back to a nervous pacing in anticipation of what was to come. there were welcome home signs up all over the far wall, a happy reminder of what was ahead.

and again i told myself standing there that i wouldnt cry again.... but this time i brought tissues just in case.

i made it through the million speeches, and the OOH-RAHS, and the waiting... but as soon as the first of the 25th battalion started coming through that door, and they started playing lee greenwood's proud to be an american the tears and the hiccup came back.

but when i looked around all you could see where smiling faces, clapping and cheering with silent tears streaming down their faces. men and women alike, young and old.... even the teenage boys were crying.

and i have never been so happy to see that smile in my life.

welcome home Lcpl. Brian Bickmore, 1/25th Battalion Co.

you truly are my hero.

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