night time is hard sometimes, with all the thoughts bouncing around in my head, like unpoppable bubbles. it will get better, i know, no one was meant to live feeling like this.

my mother, one of the most beautiful and extrodinary creatures i have met in my life, stays up late at night to talk to me on the phone hoping that the airwaves can provide some comfort. she tells me i should write.

"write down your thoughts, write down how you are feeling, no matter how ridiculous it 'feels,' write it down so you know it is real, so you know you are real. and that eventually you will no longer feel that way, and everything will be alright."

so i write, not here, no somethings i dont like to share. feelings have always been very hard for me to share with other people (most of the time), my mom says i get it from my dad.

i feel better after we talk... always no matter what. and writing, writing is helpful too...

i love the fall. i decided i am going hiking and apple picking and maybe even camping this weekend. because i cant let a glorious season like this go to waste.