Impulsiveness has never come easily to me. think before you act, dont let your emotions get the best of you, use your head, dont rush into anything.

and what i have considered impulsive, has always come with the approval of others. so really it is acting on permission, although the thought may have been out of the blue.

deliberate. there has always been this somewhat deliberate feel about the way everything is done with some people. i envy those who can make quick decisions and seem so sure of themselves. i know it isnt true, but sometimes i feel like i have never been sure of anything in my life.

and all of these feelings, especially envy, just make me feel frustrated. something must be done... especially since i dont like to disappoint. and right now, the person i am disappointing the most, happens to be me.