Tuesday, July 19, 2005

i always fall so helplessly into your gaze... like water to a sponge, always. kind eyes across the room, or inches from my face simply draw me in.

and whispered words of sweet nothings make me giggle, and smile, just as you wanted me to. your master plan the whole time, but i have it figured out buddy. i sure do.

but these 'games' we play, they are for real, because this is life, and with instruments so precious as the heart one should not play. yet, lets leave them be for now. because they help keep me up, standing... otherwise i fear i might just fall.

because you make life feel more beautiful, and i dont know why or how...

you just can, and do.

so lets just leave the game in play, and see where the pawns fall.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

live music and spotlights set the scene for yet another night on the town with the one and only ashley, as we venture into the city to celebrate my graduation.

we take the T in, and walk around the common till it rains water droplets the size of dimes on our heads and we have to run for cover under trees, and in train stops, finally stopping in the nearest starbucks. with coffee to warm our chilled bones, and the rain subsided we set out for our destination, the wang theater. our venue, michael buble.

after much anticipation and whispered discussions with the adorable old couple seated beside us, the show began.

i cried, laughed, sang, and smiled. i dont think you could have gotten me anything better ashley, not that i really needed anything at all. but it was perfect, because these memories that we have now, that we create, will last me far longer than any material thing.

but you know what else. our friendship, it is timeless. as in, yes, i will leave for school, and so will you, and we wont see each other for weeks maybe. but when we do again, it will be like yesterday, or last sunday was the last time we saw each other.

but i will miss you. i will miss your smile, and laugh, and all the amazing fun we have. and i am sure i will need your support and phone calls when i leave, because this little girl will probably be homesick and i know i will miss you.

like i miss paige. i cried when he sang home,
another summer day
has come and gone away
in paris and rome
but i wanna go home...
maybe surrounded by
a million people i,
still feel all alone
and i want to go home
oh, i miss you, you know.
because it was so beautiful, and also because i only thought of you when he sang. i read those words in your profile and my heart is sad. but to hear them come to life, and have body and soul, all i could think of was how much i missed you, and how much i wish (selfishly) that you didnt have to leave. because well... something just seems to be missing when you arent around.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

whispered words of fear and hate float in the air as he comes from across the isle to defend me from pain. big brothers are good for things like that. i marvel through teary eyes at the power love has, turning one from complacency to anger.

later that day, bearing an impressive black and blue the four of us go to the lake. the water is soothing, and so is your presence. you smile at me with your eyes as i teach rascals how to swim, and my heart jumps into my throat, because you still get to me.

later that evening we watch fireworks on the beach. i can hear him whisper something in her ear, and then a giggle. it always makes me smile when they do that. again i am in awe at the apparent spell she has cast over him, shining in his dreamy eyes. the world seems to fade when he looks at her that way.

i love fireworks, and even better i love the people sitting beside me sharing them. sweet reminders of summers beauty, and young love.

Saturday, July 02, 2005


even though this was a long time ago, his smile is priceless. my big brother. Posted by Picasa