sometimes in the light of what the moment has to offer we lose sight of who we are. or is it more simply, who we once were? to move forward and to decide where and what we want to do on our own. to decide despite what the popular vote says. or sometimes because of what the popular vote says.

to change. it is a simple fact of life. change happens everyday. it is who and what you allow to influence the changes that occur that truly defines who you are...or who you are not.

we share different experiences, different promises, different dreams with people all over the world. so much of our time is spent worrying about temporary fixes for the present. rather than what will be best in the long run.

plagued by issues across the board we live with our friends decisions, and our families decisions, and most importantly our own. and at the end of the day, it is our own that make us who we are, or who we will be.

but it is true, at the end of the game the king and pawn go back inside the same box. metaphorically.

but can one really live comfortably with a king, i thought we overthrew the kingdom years ago. i havent changed, promise. i was always weaker.

she is constant. she is as constant as the sun that rises, and the moon that follows.
she is constant as the ticking of a clock.
her will and passion are stronger than the pain, stronger than the hurt.
she keeps going everyday, despite the hours of work, despite the physical and mental pressure inflicted upon her.

dedication.

she is dedicated.
she wakes up everyday and keeps going. but not only that, she puts her heart into every

moment

every breath,

every word,

every thought,

every story,

every fiber of her being.

she is a hero.

i live better knowing you are out there, living, trying, hurting, but succeeding everyday.

i try harder, because i want to be more like you.

thank you, my little circus girl.

we sit in a quiet room on a cold saturday afternoon. it is silent at first but i know there is something on his mind. his frustrated look tells me right away. so i keep quiet, and wait. he has this horrible habit of mumbling when he wants to tell you something important, and so i have learned to keep my mouth shut and to always let him finish when he speaks.

most of the time he doesnt need an opinion anyways, he just wants to get it off of his chest. he needs a vent, and because i know most of the story already usually it is me.

i wonder what it would be like sometimes, to live like he does... he is so much stronger than i will ever be i am afraid. but it takes work, and it takes time to get to where he is. work i can and am willing to do.

sometimes i forget i am still so young. there is so much left to see, and feel, and live.

the future is terribly exciting i believe.

he makes me see this, though he doesnt realize it. he is the reason that i can believe sometimes.

i am tired, but not the good satisfied at the end of a work day tired.

and i am hungry... but not hungry for food, hungry for more... hungry for better classes, people, friends, work.

this past weekend i was truly hungry for the first time in weeks, and truly utterly exhausted.

and i must say it felt so incredibly good i cannot even begin to rationalize it into words.

accomplished. that is what i felt. i felt accomplished.

and now, i again feel empty. a familiar feeling in this new place i currently call home.

she feels little standing beneath the night sky, looking up at the thousands of stars and galaxies off in the distance. it is cold and the moon is bright making the frost covered grass sparkle. she tells me she feels little in the moonlight, and i giggle to myself, because i havent felt to happy to be away in my life and with two of my favorite people in the world.. we pinky swear promise each other that we can and will be business partners someday. someday so that when we walk out of our own farm into the moonlight under the stars maybe we wont feel so little.

because maybe even though we are little compared to the great unknown and vastness of the stars, i think we can do great things.

i know we can do great things.

pinky-swear-kiss-my-thumb-promise.

i find comfort in the silence of your room, in the sounds of the early morning, in knowing that no matter where my dreams take me to, darkness or light, when i wake up i will be beside you. you remain my constant when the rest of the world is turning upside-down, and for that i am eternally grateful. eternally.

because in such a topsy-turvey world we all need a constant.

i am at a loss for words. i dont know how to feel.

complete loss. silence, simply masked saddness.

for every unspoken word... so hollow.

....how i wish i screamed out loud, instead of found no meaning...

...................................it's more than just words:it's just tears and rain.

tangled in the web of indecision i have never been more sure of myself in my life.

i love that you make me do things normally i wouldnt be brave enough to do on my own. and you make me do them despite vicious protest. i benefit from learning these life lessons, and i am living more because of them. breaking boundaries is a part of growing, and sometimes i need a helping hand.

this weekend will bring me to another town and another new place that maybe someday i will call home. i cannot wait to see what the future may have to bring, and then be able to come home to familiarity for a while.

lets go to that place where the breeze plays first in the tall grass and then the stars, and try to tell me what you want to do with the rest of your life, while i laugh at the silliness of the idea.

sometimes not knowing what lies ahead is the biggest and greatest adventure life has to offer. although you cannot be spontaneous all the time, there is time, and safety in it when with the people you love.

lets create more remember when stories to tell grandchildren when we no longer have the ability to live the adventures anymore.