she hurts inside and out when she leaves....

inside and out. so much that she cries....

she hates crying. but she misses it, god she misses it, and needs it more than anything else in the world.

end of story.

you are the rock she says, you are the go to girl, you are the person we lean on when anything goes wrong... the day is quiet and long, and more than anything, though you dont know it, you are my rock, you are my go to people, you are the ones i need to lean on. it is funny how people grow on each other, and depend on each other.

my funny girl comes up to visit. she always knows how to make me smile, although it seems more often then not, she is the one in need of a smile. life is sometimes ironic like that. the funny girl with a frown, the rock that leans more on the mountain than the mountain could ever know.

we spend an evening together, and despite the fact that i think we are so old we know everything about each other already i am still stunned by the amount i have to say to try and explain myself.

i suppose when you keep so much locked inside for so long you should have a whole lot to say. it is hard to be a mystery when you want someone to understand. why you do this or that.

and then surprises come again. a boy with freckles on his nose and a heavier heart than usual hugs me goodbye again for what i know is not the last time. i know it is not the last time because we still have more adventures to go on, and i know there will be more.

my ferociously loyal friend is quiet at first, because i know she hurts, i wish i could make him apologize and make everything alright. but unfortunately my idea of alright wouldnt agree with everyone. best friends dont always agree on what may be right, but for the most part they can feel it.

we are growing up so quickly.

"i love you. just so you know."

never settle for less than what you originally wanted.

note to self: never settle.