going to the cape with the family today... should be an interesting trip... i personally dont want to go, but unfortunately when it comes to family matters i dont usually want to go and i have no choice... its not that i dont love them, i really really do, i mean who cant... i just feel so trapt when i travel with them.... it is them and only them 24 hours, and there is only soo much love you can handle... i cant wait till i get my liscence, then when we go on a family vacation sometimes ill be able to get away, maybe save my brother from my parents and go out on our own...

its funny these different feelings i get... i mean i think about college and i dont want to leave, i am quite happy to stay right here where everything is safe and sheltered... i am not a big fan of change, and college is HUGE. but on the other hand, sometimes i feel so trapt in here, like i want to branch out of little townsend, haha imagine that, someone that wants to get away from townsend! sometimes these feelings are soo strong they are hard to sort through either way... then again i have a few years to decide, i just have to make those decisions before they are too late. i mean there is no doubt in my mind, i AM going to college, i just dont know where, or how far away, and whether i will live there or not..

but anyways, i am not leaving for college this weekend, i am simply going on vacation with my family... hmm.. well i guess as this is the end of the summer, i might as well make it good... have a wonderful last few days, ill miss you! and unfortunatly i will see you again at school. AHH i cant believe it is here already, WHY?!? haha... anyways, have a great weekend! i cant wait to see the ocean! :)

much love,

katie

it was cold enough this morning that i had to wear jeans and a sweatshirt... most people think i am crazy, but really i dont mind getting up at 4 am to be at work for 430... i guess you just have to love what you do... i know i do...

i left my house in the dark, in the light and shadows cast from out front entryway light i could see my breath in the air... the clock said 420am, and the thermometer read 48 degrees... yea that would be 16 degrees away from freezing... i got in the car and he whispered good morning, going on further to explain that the reason he was whispering was so he wouldnt wake himself up... the logic being, that if he really truly woke up, when we were done work at 900 he wouldnt be able to properly fall back asleep... so in an effort not to wake up we went the rest of the ride in silence... however when he switched on the radio and blasted his funky 80's music, i wondered how anyone could stay in a peaceful state between asleep and awake... i didnt ask tho...

we had a light work load, but despite that we worked quickly, it was too cold to fool around... then every early morning, around 6am when the sky begins to get gray, and the birds begin to chirp, (they dont really sing that early in the morning, contrary to popular belief, they are really just warming up their vocal cords, it sounds almost scary i think untill about 8) that is when we slow down... it is our morning ritual to gather out back around about 6 630, depending upon the sun, and we sit and watch the sun rise... of course because of all the trees when we actually see it it has already been up for a few minutes... so we watch it rise above the tree line... but in those fifteen silent minutes of the morning, with the birds chirping, and all of us standing, or like me most often sitting the the wet grass (being to tired to bother standing) it seems like there can be no evil in the world, just us, all four of us, sometimes five, sitting there in silence, watching the beauty of the world at work... and when the sun is up, we go back to work, hopefully finishing around 9 sometimes 10 if we are slow, and sometimes 8 if we are fast... and then i head home... and usually go to sleep, not seeing the sun again for quite sometime... but when i wake up, from my nap that is, and decide to finish the rest of my day, i look out at the beautiful bright sky and smile, because i shared something beautiful, seen by very few others, with some of the people that i love the most in the world...

so no, i dont really mind starting early in the morning, i beat the heat of the summer, can have the rest of the day off, and i can watch the sunrise... so when i pretend to complain next time, please tell me to shut up, because you know the truth... haha, i really dont mind getting up early...

much love,

katie

isn't it funny how sometimes a look can mean so much more than anything spoken...

it is usually in a persons eyes, the way someone looks at you, you can tell almost everything they are thinking... and a person who is truly honest and kind will show you their love and honesty in their look... the way a person smiles too... a smile can tell you soo much...

i think it is a shame how the world rushes around today, people never even have time to say hello it seems, never mind look at you... people know so little about each other, sometimes i think we are becoming robot like...i try to be as friendly as i can when i work... i found that when you spend just 5 minutes saying hi, how are you, and learning a little about a person, they most often seem greatful... its a great way to make a friend, and learn things about people you never would have known...

and another thing, people dont smile enough... i find when i smile, just the simple action of the curling of my lips, makes my whole body feel better... its like a release of adrenaline, or something... people should smile more... and something even better than smiling yourself, is to make another person smile... to make someone smile, a true, honest smile, one in not only made with their mouth, but their cheeks, and nose and eyes, that truly makes my day... people dont smile enough...

so do me a favor, next time you say hello to someone look them in the eyes, and give them a genuine smile, sometimes that is enough to make someones day... i know it will make mine..

much love,

katie

he is taller than me, only by about 4 inches, and he is twice my age, but somehow he manages in his superior height and age never to look down upon me... i think that is what i love about him most... he is not always in the best of moods, and when he is angry he just gives me a nod and tells me to stay out of the way... we work together everyday, and yet there are still so many things that i dont know about him...

isnt it funny how you can spend everyday of your summer with a person and still not really know them... it makes me sad, not only because i respect him soo much, but because i truly do love him... he is like an older brother to me, and i know that if anything ever happened to me that he would be there... he isnt the greatest at expressing his feelings, but i know how he feels just by looking at him... he knows me, he knows about my ambitions, my passions, and dreams... i can stand there and tell him about what i want in my future, and what i want to achieve, and no matter how far out there it may seem to the rest of the world, he thinks i can do it... he doesnt laugh at me, sometimes he smiles, and looks at me and says
"you do that kid, you do that..."
and i know in the way he smiles that he isnt making fun of me... he truly does believe in me... i think that is important, everyone should have someone to tell their dreams too, and everyone should have someone that truly believes in them... i find that i can believe in myself more, and trust myself and reach farther and higher when someone is there that believes in me...

i just hope that someday i can have someone that tells their dreams to me, and i can back them up, just like he does for me... i would be honored to by trusted with the dreams and ambitions of another... and if i could help them achieve their dreams, that would be even better...

much love,

katie

this is a new thing for me... i was reading those of others, and i decided that this would be a good way to get my thoughts out... recently many things have been happening, and sometimes it just seems to be soo much, a place to write it down where others can read it would be nice... somewhere to put my thoughts...
so here goes...

im sorry if i dont keep it well updated, time is something i often find i lack, however i will try to do the best i can...

much love,

katie